I want to be a wealthy being. wealth in terms of concepts and execution of these concepts but money matters! I am done being shy about it. I want to live and live comfortably.to have my brain paying the bills and taking me places. to label my work “Let me kiss your butt cheek …” and be awarded for it. To be a being who remembers that granaries exist at home amidst grass thatched mud houses. …that the millet I eat is a source of strength and the silent prayer I say before any art work is carefully answered by God. To be a being, sharing wisdom by expression with out wavering to societies expectations. to be honest making sense and non-sense. knowing that contradiction is a part of being existent. living in my crafty creations. This experiment that I am will one day be an artist with oblivion being a mere memory and not a reality.
Turning his back on his university qualifications back home in Uganda, he travelled to U.A.E to find work . “I am here for the money not the comfort”, was his reply when I asked about the living conditions. Friends, family, and myself were left behind. He made promises of returning and as two lovers; more promises of waiting for each other were made.
It’s over a year today. I’m only able to see a misty image of him on Skype, hear his voice in long distance calls and chat with him via WhatsApp and Facebook. My Sony Xperia C002 is the only presence of him that I can touch. Our entire relationship is now imaginary worked out by the brain then translated to the heart. Happiness, sadness, laughter, grief, fights, making up all expressed on this tiny device.
My mind with time has created an ideal man. Broad chest, 6foot tall, well built biceps. Images fed to me by television. A man greater in stature providing a sense of security and hope that I jealously cleave to.
Its been said, there’s a thin line between love and hate… the same can be said for Pain and pleasure. Celebrations of festivities, saints, signified by many charitable deeds such as feeding the hungry and sharing with loved ones carry on in the vibrant city. The chuckles of the bulldozers that walk the streets fill the air as dust and skyscrapers rise into the sky…. This is the Addis you’re allowed to see. The one we can all talk about. A beautiful rapidly growing city with happy hospitable Abyssinian people.
Silence drifts in when conversations on sexual abuse are incited. A silence that blankets any pain that an incident such as this might cause. How many more will assume this position of “power” and bask under the blanket of silence as more pain is embedded in the lives of another?
Being among human beings of like mind in different situations is a boost to my way of thinking, making and looking at life . Being among others of different ancestry is perhaps an even more binding factor. The universe has a way of putting those you need around you. could it be that we just attract who we are? The company of Fanni Baudo, Kumar Prashant, Vrushali Dhage, Katarzyna Krakowiak, Shweta Bhattad, Kelvin Hazel, Euridice Kala was all a source of wealth. Wealth that can be tapped once in contact with the source…all young minds and yet very eager to share and to learn. Counting My blessings…one by one.
There’s a time in life when you get to live. This for me is the time I have started to live, to take decisions and be sure to carry the repercussions. After 25yrs of existence now the misty and hazey view of my expression has started to get clearer. It is frightening to know how vulnerable one can be after the honesty of expression. The strength however lies in the taking charge for ones life. Let this week be one of those where you live for you without wondering what the other thinks.